Lima Beans
by LaChoy
Summary: Sooner or later, Howl's past affairs had to catch up with him. And lima beans. The horror!


**Disclaimer: Don't own Howl's Moving Castle. Just fan stuff this is.**

**Notes:** I think lima beans aren't all that bad. Also, I happen to like codfish and asparagus. Can't say the same for potato bread. Yuck. And this story came from nowhere.

* * *

Sophie Hatter looked at her list one last time before turning the dial on the door to head out.

She needed eggs, a new broom since Markyl had somehow blown hers up, potatoes, and fish and…

"Sophie!"

She turned her head back around to see Howl running down the stairs.

"You're going to the store, right?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

He grinned. "I just wanted you to remember never to buy-"

"Lima beans," She finished, smiling softly. "I know. You hate them the most. You remind me every time I go to buy food."

"Oh yes. I do, huh? Then remember not to buy-"

"Potato bread, codfish, and asparagus, I know."

"Good!" He said and as he ran up the stairs again, he shouted. "I know you'd never let down, Sophie!"

She sighed and smiled as she made her way out the door and to the market.

He really was a nice man. Even if he could be a bit flamboyant, and a bit immature and arrogant, she couldn't really ask for more. He always made sure she and everybody else was happy and comfortable.

He really was a nice-

"Excuse me. Are you Sophie Hatter?"

A woman standing in front of her brought her out of her thoughts. If any word could have been used to describe this woman, it was beautiful. Sophie wondered what such a woman would want with her.

"Yes, I'm Sophie Hatter." The silver haired girl answered, still perplexed.

The woman frowned and asked. "And you, if I'm correct, are engaged to Howl? The famous wizard Howl?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call us _engaged_." Sophie said quietly with a blush on her face. How did this woman possibly know all this?

"You hussy! How dare you steal Howl away from me!"

Sophie blinked and felt her mouth hang open before gaining her composure. "W-what? Stole Howl away from you?"

"Don't play innocent with me, you man stealer!" The woman yelled and everybody was starting to look their way.

Sophie would have done anything to have the ground suck her up.

"Listen, I'm afraid you've made a terrible mistake. I haven't stolen Howl from anybody. You could hardly call us-"

"I have ears! I've heard about you and Howl! People say they've seen you walking through the market, holding hands and all those kinds of things!" The woman's face looked red and then before Sophie saw it coming, the woman began to cry. "Howl-Howl-He said I was the only one for him! He told me so! He told me how beautiful I was and how amazing I was!"

Then Sophie remembered all the rumors she had heard about Howl. He had been known to steal women's hearts. Beautiful women's hearts. And this woman was very lovely looking. She blanched. This woman had been one of those women.

"I'm very sorry. Really, I am. But I haven't stolen Howl away from anybody. If you'd just hear me out, I'd tell you everything."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Throw it all up in my face. How good he kisses, how he holds you every night, how he-"

"Please listen to me!" Sophie begged, blushing furiously, and making sure to cut off anything improper that woman might have said. "I'm not really Howl's fiancée, not at all. I mean, we do live together and all, and we are a bit more than friends but I promise you, I didn't take Howl away from you."

"I don't want to hear any more! I thought maybe he might have chosen somebody more beautiful, but who can question his tastes." Sophie felt herself get mad just a tad bit at that. "I have to move on. It'll be tough. But I must."

And just as soon as the woman had come, she walked off leaving Sophie with a few thoughts. Confusing but clear enough.

She couldn't really blame Howl for his past deeds. Not really.

But she was feeling like having some potato bread tonight.

* * *

"Potato bread? But Sophie, I don't like potato bread. I thought you knew."

"Please, Howl. It's healthy for you."

"Well, I guess if you want me to eat it for health benefits, I will. But only this once!"

"Thank you."

* * *

"Sophie? Remember no-"

"Lima beans. You hate them. And no asparagus, codfish, and potato bread."

"Thank you!"

Sophie smiled as she walked out the door and made her way to the market. She was feeling much better than she had last week. No strange women had come to tell her off about stealing Howl. What could have possibly been better than that?

She laughed. It had been a bit juvenile to make Howl eat food he didn't like just because of one woman from the past.

"You man stealer!"

And once again, a beautiful woman came to tell Sophie off for stealing Howl.

"Howl was _mine_! Howl told me I was his angel! His sweet!"

Sophie sighed and wondered whether they sold asparagus here.

* * *

"Asparagus? But Sophie!"

"Just this once?"

"Okay, I suppose. Only once!"

* * *

"Remember, no-"

"I know, Howl. I know."

And once again, Sophie made her way out to the market. It was a nice day. Everybody seemed happy and every thing seemed at peace in the world. Nothing bad could possibly happen.

"How dare you steal Howl from me!"

Codfish for dinner sounded perfectly lovely.

* * *

"Codfish…?"

"It's good for your blood."

"I guess it is for my blood and all. I'll do this only once more!"

* * *

"Sophie! No-"

"I already know, Howl."

Howl frowned before looking serious and saying. "No lima beans. I forbid lima beans!"

Sophie smiled. "I promise no lima beans for dinner."

"That's the Sophie I know and love!"

She had a big list. She wasn't sure how but somehow all the food had disappeared in a short time and she was about to go stock up on food again. Hopefully, the flow of women calling her a no good, man-stealing vixen wouldn't show up again. But really, how many women could there be that would go after her just for being friendly with Howl?

"You're Sophie Hatter! You-"

"I know! I know! I stole Howl and I should be damned to Hell for stealing your precious, amazing Howl from you!"

She stomped off towards a stand, ignoring the woman's angry yells of indignation.

"I'd like three pounds of lima beans, please."

* * *

"Ah, Sophie! You're home! I was about to go help you but you're already back." Howl ran towards Sophie, beaming which quickly turned upside down into a frown. "Um, Sophie, I understand you're very good at shopping for food, but we were running low on. You only have one bag. What did you buy?"

Sophie smiled and handed him the bag. Frowning and taking the bag from her, he peaked inside before throwing the bag onto the floor.

"Lima beans!" Howl yelled, catching the attention of everybody else who lived there around him. "Is this an assassination attempt, Sophie? Do you wish me dead?"

Everybody was listening in and seemed to hang on what was happening. The Witch of the Waste had a huge grin, Calcifer wasn't saying anything rude, and Markyl was peaking in.

"Of course not. Why would I want you dead? Women only have yelled at me for this past month because I supposedly _stole _you for them. Why would I want you dead for that? Really."

It was obviously a lie. Her smile was obviously fake. Even Howl knew this.

"What are you talking about? What women have I belonged to?" Howl asked, a confused look planted on his face. He hadn't really been around women very much ever since Sophie had arrived. There hadn't really been a need to.

"You don't remember? Let me remind you of your colorful past. One woman was a very beautiful blond. She was quite tall and had stunning blue eyes. Remember her?" Sophie asked, only a bit of an edge was in her voice. "Hopefully you do remember her? She remembered a lot about you."

But Howl didn't really seem to remember. He was confused. He had seen a blond woman walking by just yesterday when he'd gone off to get some ingredients for potions but he doubted that was whom Sophie was talking about.

"Sophie, please. I don't understand-"

"Then I'll have to make you understand. The other was a gorgeous brunette. She went on and on all about the things you two did. Things nobody would ever want to hear! I heard them though."

Howl was still frowning and was at the point of begging. "Please. I really don't know what you're talking about!"

"And the woman just now was another blonde. Do you have a thing for blonds? Your hair was blond so maybe that's it. Well, this woman basically _threatened _me!" Sophie was yelling now. She knew it wasn't like her to do this but she was tired of the women and tired of hearing Howl's lively past.

"But why did you have to buy lima beans, dear?"

And with that, Sophie screamed and stomped into her room leaving behind a very befuddled wizard who still didn't know why he was being punished. He looked around at everybody.

"What did I do?"

Markyl seemed to have no clue and ran back up the stairs to his room while the Wish of the Waste laughed.

"A woman scorned is a terrifying thing."

"I haven't scorned Sophie!" Howl said, looking outraged and then he looked to Calcifer. "Do you know? Please say you know!"

Calcifer shrugged the best a fire demon could and got some more wood Sophie had given him earlier. "I can't really keep number of how many women you had."

Howl pouted and sat down at the table. Nobody seemed to be able to help with his dilemma. It really didn't make much sense. After all, he never talked to many women anymore. He had seen women, of course, but never did anything inappropriate to make Sophie so angry with him that she'd torture him with lima beans.

"It's best you go apologize."

He looked up to still see the Witch of the Waste still smiling knowingly.

"Why? I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Your past did something wrong. Just go apologize and make things right again."

Howl tried to think about what she meant by his past and nothing really was coming to mind. What could his childhood had done to make Sophie mad? Then he remembered her words about women. He frowned.

There had been many women.

A lot of women he hadn't given much of an explanation to.

Had Sophie somehow ran into these women?

"Oh no," he muttered, horrified and paled.

That was bad enough to buy lima beans!

* * *

"Um, Sophie?"

"Go away."

"I can't. You're mad and I don't like it. Besides, I think I can do something to make it better."

She smiled just a little at that and looked at the closed door. She was still mad. How could somebody forget all those women? They were stunning women. How easy could it be to forget somebody like herself then? How could you forget something extravagant like those women and remember somebody not as extravagant?

"Please go away, Howl. I'm still angry."

"I know I can make things better, though! Let me try!"

"Oh, Howl, please."

"Please, Sophie!"

She sighed. He wasn't going to give up. He was going to keep going until she finally let in. And she was going to. She got up and opened the door to let him in.

"Thank you!" He smiled and walked in and sat down at a chair she had in her room. He looked serious before saying "I was very wrong."

Was that the conclusion he'd come to? Sophie wondered mentally to herself but decided it was better to keep listening to him.

He looked up at her and looked sincerely apologetic. "I'm sorry you've had to go through that. I mean, you know how I was. I was always running away. Even from women. But, I mean, I wasn't really looking for a serious relationship and they sort of wanted that…"

Sophie sighed annoyingly and he got the message.

"But I was still wrong. I know that. I really am sorry."

She wondered if that was it and looking at Howl's face, she guessed it was. In a lot of ways, it was an incomplete apology. But in the other ways, it was something wonderful. It was something she knew Howl wouldn't have done before.

So that was why she smiled.

"It's okay. I forgive you."

Howl grinned and stood up, hugging her and giving her a small kiss. "Thank you!"

As they walked out of her bedroom, the Witch of the Waste was eying the lima beans and smiled.

"I like lima beans. Are we having them for dinner?"

"Well," Sophie began, looking uncomfortably at Howl. "I don't really want to waste them. I did pay for them and all."

A look of despair overtook Howl's face as he yelled dramatically. "I'll die, Sophie! I absolutely abhor lima beans! The taste will make me drop dead right as they reach my lips!"

But Sophie was still looking apologetically at him and Howl knew there was really no choice.

"Okay, fine. Bury me in my best suit, please. You will do that, right, Sophie?"

She just rolled her eyes with a smile and began cooking the dreaded food.

* * *

"You know, Sophie, these lima beans aren't all that bad. Actually, they're delicious!"

Exasperated groans were heard all around.


End file.
